E-Cabulary for The New Age
By Kathryn Atkins, Long Beach Branch
| E-touch | This is the combination of an email and a “touch.”
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| Fore-Flub | You forgot the original message is still at the bottom of the thread. Mr. or Ms. “Not-For-Their-Eyes” sees it and you’re embarrassed, fired, out of the will, or sad. Did you lose an old friend?
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| Un-Send | Don’t you wish you had one? This handy button lets you suck back the Fore-Flub you just sent.
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| CAPs-Insult | YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. The message shouts. You’re tempted to send back a “NastyMail.” See next.
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| NastyMail | Have you ever sent one? Received one? They’re in an angry font, which is either a CAPsInsult, or more likely a bolded CAPsInsult. You may see #@*(!&% symbols sprinkled liberally. Or even the words themselves!
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| SmokeMail | I’m talking about the smoldering emails where the person is so angry the smoke rises from your screen. You are happy you’re not in the same room.
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| OopsMail | These are related to Fore-Flubs, but are written straight out to the wrong person. Just as hurtful, embarrassing, etc., these are the result of being in an
e-hurry.
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| SpellGafMail | You’ve just pressed Send. The UnSend button hasn’t been invented, and you realize you spelled truly with an errant “e.” What’s worse? Sending a message to your CEO or CFO and misspelling their name! Do you send another and call their attention to it? Do you hope they didn’t see it? Do you pack up your desk and leave? Change your name? Or just blow up your computer?
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| 2MennEMails | Again? They just sent one a day ago! And another the day before that. Did I see one earlier today?
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| InvisiMails | These little guys slide into a folder and peek out, grinning, when your co-worker, client, or friend asks if you received them. Shucks. Being super organized sometimes backfires.
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| AddressEnvy | JohnSmithRocks@coolmail.com is taken, and you’re a victim of AddressEnvy. The address you want is just as hard to come by as a really cool web address. Darn. You snooze you lose.
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| ReplyAll-Hell | “Newbies” hit Reply All to every comment in the group’s thread. Your inbox bends heavy, and then explodes. Relief! |