I Almost Didn’t Go, Part One
By M J Sewall, Coastal Dunes Branch
I almost didn’t go.
Sure, I would be sitting at the Coastal Dunes table – telling everyone at the Central Coast Writers Conference how great our writers’ group is. Last year, I loved chatting with conference-goers and fellow Dunes members alike at our little table. I had planned to attend the conference this year, but finances got in the way. My theory is that a week only takes about three days anymore, and suddenly it was September. Time and money just got away from me.
Besides, I wasn’t sure what I would get out of the conference. I always love discussing story. I can talk about writing for hours, much to my friends’ dismay. But what would I learn at the conference that I didn’t learn from the great speakers we have at the Coastal Dunes? What more would could anyone there offer me, that my awesome Lompoc critique writers group doesn’t already provide?
Then the leader of Coastal Dunes, Catherine Kitcho, e-mailed me. “Spread the word. There are scholarships still available.” My first thought was to spread the word (and I did), then my darker Gollum-like side said, “But I want one! My precious…” So, I e-mailed Teri Bayus, the organizer of the conference – would it be tacky for me to apply? She said no, and asked me to submit an essay about why I wanted to come. This is what I sent:
A Schizophrenic Request
How do I convince them? Why should they give me a scholarship? I could tell them how much I adore the written word. No, sounds pretentious. Maybe dazzle them with my preternatural, passionate, prescient prose? Please stop that. It’s bad alliteration and kind of silly. Just tell the truth. I can’t tell them I’m dead broke. Well, remember that great quote from Ray Bradbury, (paraphrasing here…) “When I decided to become a writer my wife and I took a vow of poverty.” Hmm, that is a great quote.
Just be yourself. Tell them that you are a lover of story and you can’t get enough. You started writing when you were twelve, but decided you could only be a good writer if you lived a life. You wrote in secret, you practiced, you honed, you failed a lot. Explain to them how you then laid down the writing for twenty years to raise your four kids. Now they’re grown up, and you can start writing in earnest.
This essay first appeared in Coastal Dune Branch’s November 2016 newsletter.
Part Two continues in next month’s showcase.
For more about M J Sewall and his new short story collection
Wild Monsters Dance About, Stories from an Unruly Mind,
visit his website mjsewall.com.