Obit for An International Man of Distinction
Written by Sue Andrews, Inland Empire Branch
upon her return from the hospital January 6, when she thought that she may have eaten her last homemade meal which had been brought to her by her husband.
I never realized how much I love you until you were gone. Not understanding that the day you came into my life, which I thought might be my last, would turn out to be yours.
The Russian constituent had gathered and encased everyone together. He knew his partners loved his maker who had kneaded his soft chewy dough. His maker had also baked him until he had just the right amount of hard exterior crust with the correct number of caraway seeds.
His baker knew exactly when to take him out of the oven. Captain Rye timed it so that the total flavor would command a delectable experience.
The creamy Swiss duo constituents of the gathering remained holy and stuck together until the bitten end. I must say I thought that descriptor was apropos as I enjoyed the meal as if I was going straight to Heaven.
Next, I cannot forget the German’s involvement in the matter. His was the longest journey. First, he had started out as a cabbage, then was pickled in vinegar to become sauerkraut. His maker added a few more caraway seeds to make the mix of the whole ensemble even more savory.
The crème de la crème of the entire operation was the part of the fat American. He added layer upon layer of his scrumptious corned beef which had been molded from a cured beef brisket. Everything in this cooperative, collective melded into perfection.
After that heavenly meal, I said to myself, I could die happy knowing that this was my last meal on Earth. But that was not to be. However, it did turn out to be the last day for the International Man of Distinction. Rest in Peace, Mr. Reuben.
This wry (rye?) send-up originally appeared
in the February 2021 Inland Empire newsletter.