A Story for Kids Who Feel Silly
By Donna McCrohan Rosenthal, East Sierra Branch
Frank had just turned eighty and wanted to do things he never did before. He came up with a plan to act goofy in public, thinking people would laugh and enjoy it. Inspired by the song about This Old Man who played knick-knack, he went to a nice restaurant and sat right in the middle of the room.
Grasping a fork and a spoon, he began to bang on the table, singing, “This old man. He played one. He played knick-knack just for fun.” People stared and grew nervous, but Frank didn’t care.
Lifting his foot to rest it next to a place setting, he smacked and whacked on his leather sole, crooning, “This old man. He played two. He played knick-knack on his shoe.” The waiter moved closer.
Now with his leg angled in front of his face, Frank advanced on to bang-whack-smack, “This old man. He played three. He played knick-knack on his knee.”
As Frank started on four, the waiter offered, “Let’s go out the door.”
On five, Frank responded, “Not while I’m alive.” On six, Frank volunteered, “I’ll show you more tricks.”
On seven, the waiter said, “You’re through and I’m Kevin.”
“This old man,” Franked chimed in with another bang, whack, smack. Kevin snapped in return, “Don’t you dare play eight on your plate.”
“This old man, he played nine,” Frank teased. “I’ll finish this before I dine.”
“You won’t,” called the crowd in unison. You won’t reach ten. Don’t come back again.”
An eight-year-old child stood up at his seat, and chirped, “This old man. He played eleven. Hey! Listen to Kevin!”
One debonair gent strode over to Frank and poured soup on him, grinning and chanting, “This old man. Such baloney. He played knick-knack with minestrone.”
A woman slid up beside him, emptying a teapot onto Frank’s lap, improvising, “This old man, he played Earl Grey. Well? Perhaps you’ll run away.”
Kevin looked Frank straight in the eyes, serenading, “This old man is a dopey loon. You don’t play knick-knack with fork and spoon.”
“You don’t?” Frank asked, quite surprised and very seriously. “I’ll come back when I’ve learned a new tune.”
But Frank never did. Not one new song. Nope. Never even “The Wheels on the Bus.”
Thank goodness.
Note to parents: You can extract a learning moment from this.
Discuss with your kids whether people had fun after all,
or whether Frank spoiled everyone’s evening.